Should I wait for him to text me first after a fight

Read the gap before you read the message. One evening of quiet after a fight usually means he is tired, embarrassed, or stewing, and he may reach out on his own. Two or three days with no contact and no reply to anything else you sent suggests he is pulling back. If you have been texting normally about plans, jokes, or your day and the only change is the fight, he is probably still interested but unsure how to restart. If he has gone quiet on everything, your text is not going to fix that by itself, and you should expect a short or delayed reply.

Also notice what he did during the fight. Did he raise his voice, walk away, shut down, or say something cutting? Each of those points to a different kind of pause. Someone who needs space will often come back calmer. Someone who was looking for a reason to leave may use the fight as the exit. You will not know which until he responds, so treat the silence as information but not a verdict.

When you do write, name the exact moment that bothered you and say what you wanted instead. If he left without talking, say that. If he said something that stung, say which thing. This shows him you were paying attention, and it gives him something concrete to respond to. A message that names one issue is easier to answer than one that lists five.

Keep the ask small. You are asking whether he wants to talk, or whether he wants to let it go. You are not asking him to agree that he was wrong, and you are not asking for an apology in writing. Leave him a clear way to say yes, need time, or no thanks. Vague messages get vague replies, and vague replies after a fight tend to stall into nothing.

Timing changes how a message is read. A text sent late at night after a fight can look like pressure, or like you are still spun up about it. Send in the middle of the day or early evening, when both of you are more likely to be settled. If you have already been waiting a day, a short message is fine, but do not wait so long that the fight becomes the only thing he associates with you.

If he does not reply within a day, do not send a second message immediately. One follow-up, a day or two later, is reasonable if you still want to talk, and it can be lighter than the first. If that also goes unanswered, take the silence as his answer for now. Keep your self-respect intact by not chasing him through three or four more texts. Stop when the messages stop getting answered.