How do I reply to Hey on a dating app?

When someone sends only "Hey", the most likely explanation is volume. She's probably matched with a lot of people and is sending the same opener to several of them, or she's testing whether the match is worth more effort. It doesn't tell you she's uninterested, and it doesn't tell you she's excited. Read it as neutral.

What matters is what she left out. She didn't mention your photos, your job, or anything from your profile. That means she either hasn't read it or is saving the real question for after you talk. Either way, your reply is the first chance to show her you've read her profile, and that's the signal that separates you from the other people she's messaging.

If her profile has a specific detail, such as a place, a food she likes, or a prompt answer with a clear opinion, that's where the conversation can start. If the profile is thin, you're working with less, and the reply should be lighter and easier to answer.

There are roughly three shapes that work here, and they're chosen by what you have to work with. The first is a specific reference. You point to one detail from her profile and say something about it that invites her to add to it. The point is to give her an easy thing to talk about, so the reply should be built around that detail and end with an open thread, not a question she can close.

The second is a light, self-aware opener. You acknowledge that the chat started with a hello and say something a little playful about it, then give her an easy way in. This works when the profile is sparse. It should be short, warm, and not a joke that needs a setup.

The third is a direct, low-pressure ask. You skip the warm-up and suggest something concrete, like a specific activity or place, but keep it casual enough that she can say no without awkwardness. This only fits when there's already some signal that she's interested, and it should never be your first move if the profile gives you anything else to work with.

In all three, leave out long setup lines, back-to-back questions, compliments on her looks as the whole message, and anything that makes her feel like she has to perform. The draft should feel like one person talking to another, not a pitch.

Timing tells her something too. A reply sent within a few hours during normal waking time reads as interested without being eager. A reply sent at midnight, or the morning after a long gap, reads as either a late-night swipe or a low priority. Pick a time when you'd actually be happy to keep the chat going.

If you don't hear back after your reply, wait at least a day before doing anything. Two days of silence is normal on these apps and doesn't mean she's lost interest. If you do send a follow-up, keep it shorter than your first message and tie it to something new, such as a comment on a recent photo or a plan you'd suggest. Don't just resend the same reference or ask whether she saw your message.

Stop after one follow-up. If she hasn't answered the reply and the follow-up, the conversation has ended, and sending a third message turns a low-stakes exchange into something she has to ignore or decline. Unmatch or let it sit.