Should I text my ex who dumped me

Start by counting. How long has it been since she ended things, and has she said anything since? If she replied warmly, even briefly, the door is more open than if she went quiet after the breakup conversation. A message sent two weeks after a clean ending reads very differently from one sent two days after she told you she needed space. Silence after a breakup is usually not a message about you. It is her finishing the decision in her own head. Your text lands in the middle of that process, which is why timing carries more weight than wording.

Also look at what she has actually said. Phrases like "I need time" or "maybe later" leave room. Phrases like "I don't want to do this" or "I'm done" close it, and a text that asks her to reconsider is asking her to undo something she chose on purpose. If she closed the door clearly, a message is more likely to be read as pressure than as a kind word.

The shape that fits this situation is a short message with no question at the end, or with a question so light she can ignore it. One kind says something honest and small about how you are doing, without asking how she is. Another acknowledges the ending and says you respect her decision, which tells her you are not going to make this hard. A third is practical, like returning something she left at your place or confirming a shared plan that still exists. Each of these is for a single job, and you can tell a draft fits when she could read it, feel nothing she has to respond to, and still be fine.

What to leave out is the explanation, the apology that is really a request for forgiveness, the "I've been thinking about you constantly," and any line that asks whether she misses you. Those turn a goodbye into a negotiation. If a draft makes you want an answer, it is probably the wrong draft, even if it is nicely written.

If you decide to send something, send it in the day, when you are rested and not chasing a feeling. Read it once more the next morning before it goes. If you still want to send it, it is more likely to be a message you can stand behind. Give her a real window to reply. A day or two is normal for a message like this. If she does not respond, leave it. One message is a complete gesture. A second one, a week later, asking if she got the first one, turns the first one into a pressure campaign.

Stop when she tells you to, even indirectly. A short reply, a change of subject, or no reply at all is her answer for now. If she eventually writes back and it is friendly, match her tone and keep it brief. If she writes back and it is cold, do not argue the point. Let it be the last message in that thread, and give yourself the same kind of space you were hoping she would give you.