What to text when my girlfriend talks about her ex every day

One mention is nothing. A mention every day, usually dropped in without a lead-in, tells you something different. Check the tone first. If she says it with a shrug, as a memory or a comparison to food or a city or a habit, she is likely just talking about her life and the ex happens to be in it. If she says it with heat, or tells the same story about the breakup again, she may still be processing how it ended. Notice whether the mentions come up when you are talking about something tender, like your plans, your family, or what you want. Those moments tell you more than the mentions in passing.

Also notice whether she asks what you think. If she does, she wants a partner in the conversation. If she only states it, she probably wants you to hear her, not weigh in. Both are normal. Reading which one she is doing decides how much you should say back.

Replies that work here are usually brief and unbothered. One kind is the acknowledgment with a turn: you note what she said, then move to something about her current life, a question about today, or a plan. Another is the honest light response: you say the thing is interesting or a little funny, you do not treat it as a threat, and you let the subject close. A third is the direct check-in, used sparingly when the mentions feel heavy: you ask whether this is on her mind lately, in a way that gives her room to say more or drop it.

A draft is working when a reader would feel no need to defend anything. It should not carry an edge, a sigh, or a hidden score. Leave out any comparison to him, any question that asks for details she has to justify, and any line that makes the ex sound like a problem you have to solve.

If the mentions keep showing up and you feel shut out or uneasy, raise it once, when you are both relaxed and not mid-argument or late at night. A text is fine for something small, but a real conversation works better for this. Open with what you noticed and how it lands for you, not with an accusation. Then give her room to answer. If she offers something real, listen and let it be a real answer. If she gets defensive, drop it for now and watch whether the pattern changes over the next few weeks.

Stop bringing it up if you have said it clearly and it keeps happening with no change in how she treats you. At that point the question is no longer about the ex. It is about whether the current relationship is giving you what you need, and that is a different conversation.