How to reply when she says she's not free

When she says she's glad you asked, she is confirming the invitation landed well. The "not free" is a logistics statement. If she wanted to keep things moving she would usually offer a concrete alternative, like a weekday or a different week. Vague phrasing like "another time" or "maybe later" is often polite, and it is also a signal she hasn't decided how much she wants to prioritise you yet.

Check what the rest of the conversation looks like. Is she still asking you things, sharing details about her day, and replying with energy? If yes, the door is open and she's simply busy. If her replies have been getting shorter and she's already slowing down, the "not free" may be doing more work than it looks like. Either way, your job is to make the next step easy for her, not to decide for her whether she means it.

Accept the answer in a single line and let it go. Show you heard the reason, then leave the future open without a deadline. Something that says the timing didn't work and you'd like to hear when she's free keeps the ball in her court without making her feel chased.

Avoid proposing three different options or asking her to pick a day. A single, loose suggestion lets her say yes without doing any work. If the conversation is still active and warm, you can keep it going on other topics for a bit, which shows you're interested in her, not only in the date. Let the plan come up naturally again rather than forcing it into the next message.

After a reply like this, give it at least two or three days before mentioning plans again, longer if the chat has gone quiet. Sending a plan the same evening reads as persistence, and sending one a week later with no context can feel like you've forgotten what she said. Two or three days is usually enough for her to think about it without feeling it's been dropped.

If she replies warmly to other messages and then proposes something herself, that's your answer. If the chat drifts and she never circles back after a second, friendly attempt a week or so later, let it rest. Hold the same warmth in the conversation anyway, because you still want to be someone she enjoys talking to. Stop pursuing the plan once she has clearly sidestepped it twice.