How to reply when she says "I'd like that but I'm still deciding"
She's interested but not committed. Here's how to read that, what your reply needs to do, and how to follow up without pushing.
She said she'd like something, which is a yes to the idea, but added that she's still deciding what she wants. That is usually an honest answer. She likes you or the plan enough to not say no, and she doesn't yet know whether she wants to commit to the specifics. Treat it as warm but unfinished, not as a rejection and not as a green light.
What a good reply achieves is simple. It accepts her honesty without making her defend it, it keeps the door open at a low cost to her, and it gives her an easy next step if she wants one. It should not pressure her to decide on the spot, and it should not go quiet or sulk about the uncertainty.
Most of the damage in these exchanges comes from over-reading the hedge. People either hear "still deciding" as a no and pull back, or they hear it as a yes and start planning the date in their head, then send messages that assume the answer.
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Warm but unfinished, not a no
The part she is most sure about is the "I'd like that". That is the signal to take at face value. The part she is unsure about is usually not you as a person. It is more often the specific shape of the plan, how fast things would move, what it would mean for her week, or whether she is in the mood to commit to anything right now. People who want to say no tend to say no clearly, with a reason or a soft exit. A hedge with a positive first clause means the decision is still moving in her head.
Read the rest of her message for tone. If she added a question back to you, asked about your plans, or used a warm word, the hedge is almost certainly soft. If the reply was one line, flat, with no question, she may be stepping back gently. Either way you do not need to decode it further. Your job is to make the next step easy for her, not to work out what she privately thinks.
Answer her honesty, then stop
When someone says they haven't decided, the most useful thing you can do is take the uncertainty as normal and not treat it as a problem to solve. Acknowledge it in a line, show you heard the "I'd like that" part, and leave the decision with her. Do not stack questions, do not offer three options with times attached, and do not tell her what she should want.
It also helps to make the cost of answering low. If she has to come back with a yes, a no, or a counter-proposal, she should be able to do that in one short message, without needing to explain herself. A reply that feels like it has room in it lets her decide without feeling cornered, and people who feel less cornered tend to decide more often in the positive direction.
Give her a week, not a deadline
Send your reply in daylight during a normal part of her day, not late at night when a message can feel heavier than it is. Then leave it. If she has said she's still deciding, the next move is hers. Give her at least a day, and often closer to three or four, before you consider a follow-up. Anything shorter starts to read as pressure even if you did not intend it that way.
If there is no answer after about a week, send one light message that refers back to the earlier conversation, with no pressure and an easy out. Something that makes it clear you are not chasing a yes. If she still does not reply, stop. A silence after a "still deciding" usually means the decision went the other way, and continuing to message will not change that. Close the thread and move on without a final guilt-trip message.
Why these replies fail
“No worries, but when are you deciding by? I'm free Thursday or Saturday so just let me know which works.”
It asks for a deadline and a choice in the same breath, turning her honest hedge into a scheduling task she has not agreed to yet.
“Ok I guess that's fine, let me know.”
The flat tone and the vague ending signal disappointment and hand her the job of reassuring you, which makes a yes less likely.
“Still deciding? What's left to decide, you either want to or you don't.”
It pushes her to justify an honest feeling and frames her uncertainty as a flaw, which usually ends the conversation.
Common mistakes
- Asking her to commit to a date, time, or plan in the same message where she just said she isn't sure.
- Reading the hedge as a polite no and sending a short, cold reply that closes the conversation.
- Following up two or three times in a day to get an answer she hasn't had time to form.
- Asking what exactly she's undecided about, which makes her justify a feeling she hasn't finished having.
- Going quiet for a week and then returning with a fresh pitch as though nothing was left open.
Questions people ask
- Does "I'd like that but I'm still deciding" mean she's not interested?
- Not usually. The "I'd like that" part is a real positive, and the hedge is about the specifics or timing rather than about you. It becomes a no only if she follows up with distance, a flat reply, or a clear decline. Until then, treat it as open and keep your next step low pressure.
- How long should I wait before I follow up after she says she's still deciding?
- Give her at least a day and ideally three to four before you send anything. If a week passes with no reply, one light check-in is fine. Make it easy for her to say no, and do not send a second message unless she responds to the first.
- Should I ask what she's still deciding about?
- It is usually better not to. Asking makes her explain a feeling she may not have finished having. If she wants to share the reason, she will. Let her bring it up on her own time instead of making her defend the uncertainty.
- What if she never answers after saying she's still deciding?
- Stop after one gentle follow-up. Silence after a hedge usually means the decision has gone the other way, even if she has not said it. Continuing to message will not change her mind and tends to make the earlier interest feel less real. Close the thread cleanly and move on.
What people say after using WingAI
“I overthink every text. Having three options and picking the one that sounds like me cut that spiral short.”
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“I was skeptical at first. Then I tried it on a dry chat and the replies actually sounded like me, not a chatbot.”
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“She went cold mid-week and I had no idea what to say. The reply I sent felt natural and she picked the chat back up.”
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