He went silent after I asked him about his ex

Exes are landmines in early dating because they sit at the intersection of insecurity and history. He might worry you're vetting him against someone else, or feel like you're asking him to explain himself. Some men interpret ex questions as the start of a pattern where you'll monitor his past. Others simply aren't comfortable being vulnerable yet.

None of these reasons mean you shouldn't have asked. It's a normal question. The silence means he's either not ready for that level of openness, uncomfortable with conflict or difficult topics, or testing whether you'll accommodate avoidance. His response to discomfort tells you something real about how he communicates when things get harder.

Your reply needs to accomplish two moves. First, give him a way back that doesn't require him to explain the silence or apologize. Second, show that you're not going to poke at him or wait indefinitely. Send something short that changes the energy without being cold. A single sentence or two. Not a paragraph justifying the question or asking where he went.

The tone should be light but not dismissive. You're indicating you're still here, but you're not performing concern or confusion. This is the opposite of chasing. It's the move of someone who is fine either way.

Wait a day or two, then send one reply. Not multiple texts. One. If he responds, you're back in a conversation. If he doesn't, that's your answer and you move on. Don't send a second follow-up after that. A second attempt reads as you trying to convince him to care, which inverts the whole dynamic.

If he comes back days later with something casual, you can engage once, but watch what he does with anything that requires real communication. Silence after an uncomfortable question early on often predicts how he'll behave when you need to talk about harder things. One reset is fair. A pattern of withdrawal is not something to work around.