He made plans then ghosted the day of, what now

Ghosting the day of is different from flaking early in the week. He didn't lose interest before confirming. He got to the day and decided not to show up, which means something shifted. Either he got anxious about meeting you, he met someone else, he decided you weren't worth the effort once the moment arrived, or he's just unreliable under pressure. None of those are great, but the last one is at least fixable if he cares enough to try.

What matters now is whether he reaches out on his own to explain or apologize. If he doesn't initiate contact within a reasonable time after the missed date, that tells you what you need to know. Silence after a flake is him choosing not to fix it.

Your reply should name what happened straight up. 'You still coming' or 'did you forget about tonight' works. Don't soften it with humor or questions about whether he's okay. That gives him an escape route where he gets sympathy instead of accountability.

Your message should be short and clear enough that he can't misread it. You're not trying to make him feel bad. You're trying to see if he'll acknowledge the flake and reschedule, or if he'll just stay silent. Either answer tells you something real about whether he's worth another shot.

Send your reply and give him until tomorrow or the next day to respond. If he comes back with a real apology and a new specific time, you can decide if you want to give him another chance. If he sends something vague like 'sorry my bad' with no plan to fix it, that's not actually trying. If he doesn't reply at all, he's telling you he doesn't care enough to make it right.

Don't send follow-ups. Don't try to reschedule for him. Don't make excuses for why he might have ghosted. Just wait and see what he does when the ball is back in his court. His response will tell you everything about whether this is someone who respects your time.