He cancels plans and takes forever to text back. What it means and how to respond.

Canceling last minute is one thing. People get busy. But if he disappears for days after canceling, that's a different signal. It means he didn't have a backup plan to reschedule and he's not thinking about you while he's gone. If he actually wanted to see you, he'd text something like "that sucked, how about Thursday instead" within a few hours. The days of silence tell you he either forgot about it or didn't care enough to fix it. Pay attention to whether he's consistently the one who reaches out or whether you're always initiating. When cancellations and you doing all the chasing happen together, that's the pattern that matters.

Your reply needs to do two things at once. First, it has to set a real boundary. You're not available whenever he feels like texting, and you're not going to sit around waiting for him to remember you exist. Second, it has to give him a concrete opportunity to prove he's different. Don't just say "let me know if you want to hang." Give him a specific day and a specific window. Tell him when you need to hear from him by. This removes his ability to be vague and lets him either step up or admit he's not going to. A good response is short, slightly cool, and leaves no room for him to dip back into the pattern without consequences.

After you set a specific deadline, you wait. Don't send reminders. Don't check in. Don't send anything else until he responds. If he doesn't meet the deadline you gave him, he's shown you exactly what you need to know. You stop initiating. You don't send the next message. He had one clear ask and he ignored it, which means the pattern isn't going to change. If he does respond and commit to a real time, you can decide whether to give him another chance. But this is the last time you're testing. The second cancellation or disappearance after this is when you move on completely.