What to text when a guy says he's been busy with work?

When a guy opens with work, he is often just telling you what happened. Long hours, a deadline, a trip, a boss who keeps adding things. Most people who vanish for four or five days are not running a strategy. Read the message as information first. Look at its length and tone. A short, slightly apologetic message with a question in it is a guy trying to reconnect. A long, detailed account of every meeting is someone who feels he owes you a defence, and that tells you he cares whether you think he's flaky.

Notice whether he tied the apology to something concrete about you. Did he mention your plans, your last message, something you said? If yes, he was thinking about you during the gap even though he didn't text. If the message could have gone to anyone, you are one of several threads he's juggling, and you should adjust your expectations for how much space you get.

His message usually ends with a soft opening, a question about your week or a "hope you're good." Your reply should pick up exactly that thread and give him something easy to say back. A reply that answers his question and then offers one specific thing, such as a day you're free or a question about something you'd mentioned earlier, is easier to act on than a general statement. It shows the conversation is still going somewhere.

Keep the reply short and warm. Leave out the account of your own busy week unless he asked for it, and leave out any sarcasm about the silence, however lightly it's meant. If you want to ask about the work he was doing, ask about the actual thing rather than whether it was as bad as he says. The reply should feel like you took his apology at face value and are glad he's back.

Answer within a few hours during his waking day. A fast reply to a delayed apology can read as eager, but a reply sent at 2am after you've been stewing reads as someone who was waiting, and he'll pick up on the tone even if the words are fine. If it's late when his message lands, leave it until the next morning. A reply the next day is not a snub when he took days to write to you.

If he doesn't respond to a good reply within two or three days, send one short follow-up that makes it easy to answer, such as a specific plan or a question with a clear yes or no. If that also gets nothing, stop. Do not send a third message asking if he's still interested. Silence after two real attempts is an answer, and the week he spent busy is not a reason to keep chasing someone who has stopped replying.