What to text when he says he likes you but mentions other women he's dating
How to respond when someone claims interest in you while actively dating others. Set boundaries without playing games.
When a guy tells you he likes you but regularly brings up other women he's dating, he's giving you mixed signals on purpose. He wants the ego boost of your interest without the commitment of actually choosing you. He's keeping his options visible so you know not to expect exclusivity.
A good reply here does two things: it calls out what's actually happening without sounding accusatory, and it makes clear you're not going to wait around or compete. You're not asking him to pick you or proving your worth. You're just stepping back and letting him know the current setup doesn't work for you.
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Try for freeHe likes you but he's dating to keep options open
A guy who says he likes you while constantly mentioning other women is being honest about one thing: he's not ready to stop looking. The talking about other women isn't accidental. It's a way of telling you not to expect exclusivity or his full attention. He wants you interested and available while he figures out who he likes better. This is how he tests if you'll stay anyway. It's not mean, it's just how non-committal guys operate when they like someone but not enough to actually choose them.
Your reply has to draw a line without asking permission
You're not telling him he's doing something wrong. You're telling him that the arrangement doesn't work for you. The move is to name it plainly (you like me but you're dating other people, I get it) and then state what you need (I'm not going to be around while you figure it out). Don't ask if he wants to stop talking about them. Don't give him a way to reassure you or promise he'll change. Just make clear that you're stepping back, and the ball is in his court if he actually wants to get serious.
Send it soon and don't keep the door open
The longer you wait, the more you signal that you're okay with it. Send your response the next time he mentions another woman, or within a day or two of noticing the pattern. Keep it short. If he comes back saying he wants to focus on you, that's good to hear, but wait to see if his behavior actually changes before you re-engage. If he disappears or tries to keep things casual, that's your answer. Don't text him again or respond to his next message after a few weeks. He had a chance to step up.
Why these replies fail
“That's cool that you're dating other girls, I understand you need options. I'm just hoping that maybe eventually you'll see I'm different”
You're accepting his premise and competing for the role of 'the different one' instead of walking away.
“Do you actually like me or are you just saying that? Because you wouldn't talk about other girls if you really liked me”
This is a question that puts him in control of the answer and lets him either reassure you or turn it around on you.
“I'm not mad about the other girls, I just feel like if you really liked me you wouldn't bring them up so much. Can we talk about this?”
You're softening the boundary and asking him to have a feelings conversation instead of standing firm on what you need.
Common mistakes
- Asking him directly if he likes you more than the others (he'll say yes, nothing changes)
- Trying to be cool about it so he doesn't think you're jealous (he'll keep doing it)
- Waiting for him to bring it up first or fix it on his own (he won't)
- Sending a long explanation of your feelings (makes it about emotion, not boundaries)
- Giving him a second chance after he promises to stop mentioning them (he usually doesn't)
Questions people ask
- What if he says he's just being honest and doesn't mean anything by it?
- That's true. He is being honest, which is the point. He's honestly not picking you. Accept that answer instead of asking him to be more discreet about it. His honesty doesn't change the fact that you don't want to date someone actively dating other people.
- Should I tell him I'm dating other people too to make him jealous?
- No. That puts you back in the game instead of out of it. Your move is to remove yourself, not to compete harder. If you actually are dating others, you don't need to tell him. If you're not, don't lie about it just to level the playing field.
- How long should I wait to see if he changes after I tell him this bothers me?
- Don't frame it as giving him time to change. Either his behavior shifts immediately and you see it in real interactions, or you consider it done. Most guys who are warned don't actually stop, they just stop mentioning it around you. That's not the same as actually choosing you.
- What if he comes back saying he wants to be exclusive?
- Good. Believe his actions over the next few weeks, not the words. Does he actually stop dating others, or does he just stop talking about it to you? Watch for consistency before you fully re-engage. If he's serious, he'll be okay with you being cautious.
What people say after using WingAI
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