What to text back when he says he's also talking to other matches
How to respond when a match tells you he's messaging other people. Read what it means and reply in a way that keeps your options open too.
When someone tells you upfront that he's talking to other matches, he's being unusually honest about how dating apps work, or he's testing to see if you'll compete for his attention. Either way, his message is asking you to pick a lane. Do you accept it as normal app behavior and keep going, or does it change how you see him?
A good reply doesn't pretend this isn't happening and doesn't make him feel like he needs to defend himself. It signals that you're not going to chase him, you're not offended, and you have options too. The goal is to stay in the conversation without losing ground or sounding desperate.
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Try for freeHe's either being direct or testing your reaction
Some people bring this up early because they assume everyone on apps is multidating and want to get it out of the way. Others mention it to see if you'll suddenly offer him more attention or ask him to stop. Pay attention to how he said it. Was it casual and matter-of-fact, or did it feel like he was bracing for you to react badly?
Most people are talking to multiple matches in the first week or two. He's just saying out loud what's usually implied. Your job is to confirm you understand how apps work and move on without making a bigger thing of it than it needs to be.
Keep it light and establish you're not waiting around
Your reply needs to do two things at once. First, normalize what he said so the conversation doesn't get awkward. Second, make it clear you're not going to sit around hoping he picks you. You can do this by matching his tone and briefly mentioning that you're also talking to people, without elaborating.
Don't apologize, don't act relieved, and don't ask him questions about his other conversations. Just acknowledge it and move the conversation forward to something else. If he keeps bringing it up, that's a sign he's looking for reassurance or trying to secure your exclusivity before you've even met.
Send it soon and watch what happens next
Reply within a few hours while the conversation is still active. You don't need to overthink the timing. Once you've sent it, pay attention to how he responds. Does he drop it and keep texting normally, or does he keep circling back to it?
If the conversation stays natural and he keeps engaging, you're fine. If he goes quiet after you mention you're also talking to people, he was probably looking for you to reassure him or ask him to stop. That's useful information. If he comes back with intensity or tries to move things faster, he might be competing with your other matches. Either way, don't change your pace or behavior based on what he does. Keep talking to other people and see who actually follows through with meeting up.
Why these replies fail
“Oh, that's fine, I'm cool with it. I'm not really talking to anyone else right now though”
You just told him you have no other options, which shifts the power dynamic and makes you look more invested than he is.
“Why did you feel the need to tell me that?”
This makes him feel guilty for being honest and puts him on the defensive instead of moving the conversation forward.
“Okay, cool. So when do you want to meet up?”
Dodging what he said makes it look like his comment bothered you, and jumping to meet-up logistics feels like you're trying to rush things.
Common mistakes
- Acting upset or defensive, which makes you look like you thought you were exclusive
- Saying nothing and then going cold, which he reads as you losing interest
- Overexplaining that you're also talking to others, which sounds insecure
- Asking him why he felt the need to tell you, which puts him on the defensive
- Changing the subject completely, which dodges the reality of what he just said
Questions people ask
- Does him telling me he's talking to other people mean he's not interested in me?
- Not necessarily. He could be interested and just being upfront. More likely, he's keeping his options open like most people do at the start. The real test is whether he actually tries to meet you and stays consistent. Words matter less than actions in the first two weeks.
- Should I tell him I'm also talking to other people, or just say nothing?
- You should mention it casually if it feels natural. It removes any pressure he might think exists and shows you're not hanging on his every message. Keeping it brief and moving on is the move. Don't make it a big announcement.
- What if he keeps bringing it up over and over?
- That's a red flag. He's either insecure about competition or trying to get you to agree to stop seeing other people before you've even met. Don't engage with repeated conversations about it. If he mentions it again, keep it very brief and redirect to actual plans.
- Is it bad if I go quiet after he says this?
- Going quiet reads as upset or hurt, which isn't the vibe you want to give. A quick, unbothered response is much better. If you need time to think, that's fine, but disappearing makes you look like the comment landed harder than you want him to believe it did.
What people say after using WingAI
“I was skeptical at first. Then I tried it on a dry chat and the replies actually sounded like me, not a chatbot.”
Mazoonx
“She went cold mid-week and I had no idea what to say. The reply I sent felt natural and she picked the chat back up.”
Marcus T.
“I overthink every text. Having three options and picking the one that sounds like me cut that spiral short.”
Sam R.
Get replies that sound like you
Screenshot the conversation in WingAI. It reads the vibe and gives you natural replies for this exact situation.
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