What to text when he said he had fun but his ex just came back

When someone says 'my ex came back but I like you,' they're watching what you do next. Do you panic? Do you get angry? Do you become the cool girl who waits? He's checking whether you'll fold or keep your own standard.

This isn't actually about the ex. It's about whether you'll stay in his life on whatever terms he offers. The fact that he mentioned it at all means he knows it matters. He's not trying to be kind. He's testing the water to see if you'll accept a situation where he's split between two people.

Your reply has to do two specific things. First, show that you heard what he said and you're not confused about what it means. Don't pretend the ex doesn't exist. Second, ask him to actually choose instead of keeping you both on standby. Don't say 'let me know when you figure it out.' Say something that makes him state clearly what he wants to do with you, today, not theoretically.

The move is: acknowledge the conflict exists, thank him for being honest about it, then ask what that means for the two of you right now. Not next month. Now. His answer tells you everything.

Send your reply and then stop. Don't follow up for at least three to five days. If he comes back and says he needs space to figure things out, that's your answer. If he ignores you, that's also your answer. If he says he wants to keep seeing you despite the ex situation, you get to decide if that's a deal you want.

Don't text him again after your first reply unless he responds. Don't suggest alternative plans. Don't reframe yourself as less demanding. The next move is his, and his move will tell you whether you should keep going or walk.