What to Text a Tinder Match Who's a Historian and Runs Walking Tours

A historian who runs a walking tour company has turned research into a service. Her profile may lead with the degree, but the business is the more recent and more personal part of her life. People who run tours are used to being asked for recommendations and to being treated as a walking encyclopedia. They also spend a lot of time making a group of strangers feel included, which makes them good at small talk and quick to notice when someone is performing.

So pay attention to what she has chosen to show. If her photos are of groups laughing, she is probably proud of the storytelling and the atmosphere she creates. If they're archives, old maps, or quiet streets, she may be more academic. Both are fine, but they call for different openers. A storytelling person likes a conversation with a bit of wit. An academic may enjoy a question that shows you have a real interest in how historical claims get made.

When someone is asked about history all the time, the most useful thing you can do is answer like a person, not like a student. If she says the best story she tells on tours is about a particular street, respond to that story. Say what you think of it, or whether it surprised you, or whether it made you want to visit. Then, if you have a question, make it about her, not about the facts. Ask why she picked that story, or what made her start doing tours, or what the worst question she has ever been asked was.

Don't hold back your own curiosity, but make sure it's pointed at her life and her choices. Questions about dates and sources can feel like a quiz, even when you're sincerely interested. Save those for later, once she has shown she likes that kind of talk.

Walking tour operators often work mornings, afternoons, or weekends, and they tend to check phones between groups. A message sent late at night can get a reply the next morning that is short and tired, which can read as disinterest even when it isn't. Send your first message at a time when she is likely to be free, roughly the early evening on a day she isn't running tours.

If she doesn't reply, wait several days before sending anything else. Many tour people go quiet for a week during busy season. When you do follow up, keep it light and don't reference the earlier message. If there's still no answer after one follow-up, let it go. Her silence isn't a verdict on you, but it is a sign to move on rather than keep pressing.