What to talk about in the talking stage over text
Learn what topics keep conversations flowing during the talking stage. Move past small talk with questions that show you actually care.
The talking stage is when you're getting to know someone but haven't met yet, or just started dating. Your texts should move past weather and Netflix into actual personality territory. Ask about their life, their goals, what they actually care about. This is your chance to figure out if you two click before investing more time.
Good conversation topics show you're paying attention. Ask follow-up questions on things they mention. Talk about your own life too, not just interview them. Share something real about yourself and see if they match that energy. You're trying to get a sense of who they are and whether you're compatible.
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Try for freeRead what they're actually asking you
When someone texts you during the talking stage, they're signaling what they want to discuss right then. If they ask about your job, they want to know how you spend your time and what drives you. If they mention a trip, they're opening a door about travel or adventure. Most people mess this up by treating texts like a quiz show. They barrel through generic questions instead of responding to what's actually there.
Their message tells you what's on their mind that day. A good text conversation in the talking stage follows their lead while also introducing your own stories. If they tell you about a conflict with a friend, that's a chance to ask what happened and then mention a similar situation you dealt with. You're not collecting data points. You're watching what matters to them and letting them see what matters to you.
Make your reply do three jobs
A strong text during the talking stage needs to answer their question or respond to what they said. Add one new piece of information or question that moves the conversation forward. And reveal something about how you actually think or feel. Read your draft and ask: did I just answer what they asked, or did I add my own thread to pull on? Did I ask them something that requires a real answer, not 'yeah' or 'lol'? Did I say something that shows my personality or values, not just facts about me?
You can tell your text is working when it makes follow-up easy and natural. If you only ask questions, you turn it into an interview. If you only talk about yourself, you ignore them. The balance is responding fully to what they said, then extending the conversation with something that invites them deeper. A question about what they learned from that experience. A story about when you felt the same way. Something that says 'I'm thinking about what you told me.'
Send at a reasonable hour and wait for their pace
Texts sent after 11 p.m. or before 8 a.m. read differently. Stick to normal waking hours unless you already have an inside joke about late-night conversations. Send your text and then let them respond on their timeline. Most people reply within a few hours to a day. If three days pass with no response, that's your answer. Don't send a follow-up asking why they haven't replied. That puts pressure on them and makes you look impatient.
If someone consistently takes two to three days to text back during the talking stage, the conversation is moving slowly. That's information. You can keep texting them, but also talk to other people. The talking stage is supposed to help you figure out if you click. Constant delays or one-word replies tell you something about whether this person actually wants to get to know you. If you reach out three or four times with good messages and get short responses, shift your attention elsewhere.
Why these replies fail
“oh cool tell me more about that”
It's lazy and shows you weren't actually interested enough to ask something specific.
“haha that's funny. anyway I went to the gym today and had a really good workout. my deadlift is finally improving”
You ignored what they said and made the conversation about you with zero invitation for them to respond.
“what's your favorite food? what's your favorite color? what's your favorite movie? what do you like to do on weekends?”
Machine gun questions feel like a form to fill out, not a real conversation.
Common mistakes
- Sticking to surface level questions like favorite movies or foods without follow-ups
- Making it one-sided by only asking questions instead of sharing about yourself
- Bringing up exes, past relationships, or heavy topics too early
- Using generic questions that could apply to anyone instead of referencing something from their profile or previous texts
- Treating it like an interview instead of a conversation between two people
Questions people ask
- Is it okay to talk about serious topics like mental health or family during the talking stage?
- Yes, but build to it. If they mention struggling with something, respond with a thoughtful follow-up and share your own experience. Jumping straight to heavy topics before any rapport feels forced. Let natural conversation open those doors.
- How many texts should I send before suggesting we meet in person?
- When the conversation feels easy and you've learned enough to know you're curious about them, suggest a plan. This usually takes several days of regular texting. Don't wait for a perfect moment. After three to four strong exchanges where you both match energy, propose something specific.
- What if they give one word answers to everything?
- They may not be interested or just bad at texting. Try one more message with a question that's harder to dismiss. If the effort is still one-sided, accept they're not showing up for the conversation and move on.
- Should I bring up that we haven't met yet if texting goes on too long?
- Don't make it weird by announcing it. Instead, just suggest plans when your conversation feels strong enough. If they avoid meeting after two weeks of regular texts, ask directly if they're interested in getting coffee. Their answer tells you what you need to know.
What people say after using WingAI
“I overthink every text. Having three options and picking the one that sounds like me cut that spiral short.”
Sam R.
“I was skeptical at first. Then I tried it on a dry chat and the replies actually sounded like me, not a chatbot.”
Mazoonx
“Used it for a couple hours and set up a date the same night. Not even kidding.”
Nikola2214
Get replies that sound like you
Screenshot the conversation in WingAI. It reads the vibe and gives you natural replies for this exact situation.
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