How to ask him to prove his feelings through consistent actions

This message shows a pattern. He's probably been good at talking, maybe even made you feel like the only person in the world for a moment. But then the gap appears between what he said and what he did. A week of great texts, then he's unreachable for three days. He says you're important, but he plans something else on a day you'd mentioned.

The signal here is that she's not asking him to change yet. She's setting up the condition first. I'll believe what I see, not what I hear. This is actually a filter. It separates someone willing to adjust their behavior from someone who thinks words are enough.

Your reply needs to do two things without sounding like you're negotiating. First, be specific enough that he can't wiggle out of it later. 'Showing up' means something different to everyone. Does it mean replying within 24 hours. Following through on plans he makes. Reaching out first, not just when you text. Picking a date within the week if he says he wants to see you.

Second, say it like it's non-negotiable but not hostile. You're not threatening. You're stating a requirement for your own wellbeing. The tone should be matter-of-fact, like you've already decided this is what you need, not like you're hoping he'll suddenly get it.

Send this and then step back. Don't follow up in three days asking if he understood. Don't soften it with another message. Let the boundary sit.

Give him two to three weeks to show different behavior. That's enough time for a pattern to emerge without you spending months watching. If he's serious, you'll see it in small, repeated actions. If he slips back into old patterns, you have your answer. At that point, you don't need another conversation. The first one already told you what would happen if he didn't change.