How to tell him you need more of his attention

He's probably not saying it out loud. Instead you're reading it in his actions. He cancels or shows up late. He scrolls while you talk. He mentions other people's needs constantly. He makes time for everything except you.

The key detail is that this is a pattern, not a one-off. One bad night means nothing. Weeks of it means he either doesn't care enough or is actually unavailable. His message now is basically admitting one of those things. Your reply is a chance to stop accepting that without making it his fault. You're just stating what you see and what you need instead.

Don't make him guess what you mean. Pick the one or two things he actually does that affect you most, and say them plainly. Then tell him what has to change. This isn't a question or a suggestion. You're drawing a line.

The move is simple. First: 'When you do X, it makes me feel like Y.' Second: 'I need Z from you.' That's it. No explanation for why you deserve it. No asking if he can maybe try. Just here's what's happening, here's what I need. Then give him space to respond. If he makes excuses or gets defensive, you have your answer about whether he's willing to prioritize you at all.

Don't send this when you're angry or sad. Send it when you're clear and matter-of-fact. That makes the message land as information, not emotion. Pick a time when he's not busy. Expect him to either step up in the next week or two, or make excuses.

If he apologizes and keeps doing the same thing, that's your answer. If he changes noticeably right away, he heard you. Don't accept tiny gestures as proof. Real change looks like a sustained shift in how he treats your time together. Give it two weeks minimum before you decide if he's serious. If nothing shifts by then, you're wasting energy.