How to text him about being more consistent

Inconsistency isn't an accident. It's information. If he's texting you every day for three days then ghosting for a week, that's not because he's suddenly busy. It's because he's not prioritizing you consistently. He has the phone in his hand some days and not others based on whether something better is happening.

The specific pattern matters. Is he only texting late at night? Only after you reach out? Only when he wants sex? Each pattern tells you something different about where you sit in his life. Before you say anything, get clear on what the pattern actually is. That specificity is what makes your message land instead of feeling like nagging.

Your reply needs to do two jobs. First, name the exact behavior you're seeing without interpretation. 'You go days without texting me' is different from 'you don't care about me.' One is factual. One is a story you're adding. He can't argue with the facts. He can argue with the story.

Second, your reply needs to signal that this matters and has consequences. Not threats. Just clarity. 'I need someone who shows up consistently' or 'I'm looking for something different' tells him this isn't a complaint you'll forget tomorrow. It's a line. This moves you from the position of asking him to change to the position of stating what you need.

Don't text this when you're angry or hurt. Wait until you can say it cleanly. Send it during a normal texting time when he's usually available and responsive. Avoid late night. Avoid when you know he's at work and can't engage.

Then wait. Give him at least 24 to 48 hours to respond and actually change his behavior. One good day doesn't count. You're looking for a shift that lasts a week minimum. If he responds with excuses or defensiveness instead of effort, that's your answer. If he goes silent, that's your answer too. After two weeks of no real change, stop waiting and start moving on.