She says she's exhausted and wants to rest: what to send back

Start with what the conversation looked like before she said anything. If she's been replying in full sentences, asking you things back, and it's been playful for a while, then tiredness is most likely just tiredness. People who are losing interest tend to get shorter and slower, and they rarely say they're tired, they just stop engaging. A message that comes after a normal exchange, especially one that mentions a plan or apologises for being dull, usually means she likes talking to you and simply has nothing left tonight.

Now look at the phrasing. "I'm really tired and wanted to rest" is a complete sentence with a clear intention. It tells you she's stepping away on purpose. A lot of people say this to make space for a later reply, not to end things. Compare that with a message that trails off or only says "tired" with nothing after it. The first is a sign she's managing her evening, the second is closer to a polite exit.

Her reply needs to do three jobs without drawing attention to them. First, accept that she's resting, so she doesn't feel she has to defend the decision. A single short acknowledgement is enough. Second, make sure she knows you're fine, which means no hint of disappointment and no requests for reassurance. Third, leave one small reason for her to come back to the conversation later, such as a thing you were both looking forward to or a question she can answer in a sentence tomorrow.

The third move is where people overreach. You don't need to ask a big question or set up a whole plan. One light, specific reference is enough, because it gives her an easy place to start when she's rested. Keep the total length well under what you'd normally send mid-chat. A short message reads as relaxed, and a long one reads as a bid for attention she isn't ready to give.

Don't send anything else that night. If she's gone to bed, a second message at 1am will feel like pressure even if you meant it kindly. Let her reply, or not, in her own time. Most people answer the next day, often with a brief "morning" or a continuation of the earlier thread, so give it until the following afternoon before you assume anything.

If she replies warmly the next day, carry on as normal and pick up the thread you left open. If she sends a short, friendly message with no hook, let that be the whole exchange and reply in kind. If there's no answer after a full day, send one more message, brief and unpressured, referencing something concrete. If that also gets nothing, stop. Two messages after a tired night is the reasonable limit, and anything beyond that tells her you aren't reading the situation.