What to say when she says she's keeping track of your sorries

Read this as a report that the word has been used to close conversations rather than to repair anything. If you apologise every time there's friction, she can't tell when you actually did something wrong. The apology stops being evidence of anything. She is probably tired of being the one who has to decide whether it counts.

Check which situations the apologies came up in. If they clustered around her raising a concern, you may have been apologising to make the discomfort go away instead of engaging with the concern. That's the thing she's pointing at. The fix is less about how often you say sorry and more about what you do after you say it.

A good reply names the habit in plain terms and then changes the mechanism. Say what you think the apologies have been doing, in your own words, and accept that it's been a pattern rather than a one-off. Then say what you'll do when you feel the urge: ask what she needs, or say what you actually think. You're showing her a different sequence, not promising to feel differently.

Keep the apology for things that deserve it, and when you give one, make it specific enough that she can recognise it. Naming the thing you did and the effect it had lands far better than a general sorry, and it's the thing that will make her count go quiet.

Don't reply to the message with a promise to go a whole month without apologising. That sets up a new count. Instead, change the behaviour in the next real conversation where friction comes up and let her notice the difference. If the next time she raises something you ask a question instead of apologising, that does more than any text.

If she follows up, keep the reply short and tie it to something you did, not to how sorry you feel. If she doesn't follow up, don't send a second message about it. Waiting a few days, then bringing it up in person when it's relevant, is usually the right pace. The thread is less important than whether the next few conversations look different.