What to say when she's been spending lots of time at her parents'

A line about her parents' place can sound urgent or neutral depending on what's around it. If she writes it as an apology for being slow to reply, she's thinking about you and wants to keep the thread alive. If she writes it flat, with no question and no warmth, she may be dealing with something she doesn't want to narrate. Look at how long she wrote, whether she used a full stop or an emoji, and whether she asked anything back. Those tell you more than the location does. The phrase 'spending a lot of time' on its own is almost never the important part. What she chose to add afterwards is.

The reply has to show you registered the detail, and it has to hand the next move back to her. One clear acknowledgement is enough, something that names the thing she said in her own words. Then ask a question with an easy answer so she can choose how much to share. A question about her day, or about how she's holding up, lets her go wherever she wants. Avoid questions that require a big answer, like asking what happened or why. Keep your own news short. You are not trying to match her disclosure with a story of your own. The point is to make it easy for her to keep talking in whichever direction she likes.

After you've replied, the next move is hers. If she answers warmly, match her energy and let the conversation run at the pace she sets. If she answers briefly, take it as a sign to ease off, not as a rejection. Send one follow-up if you have something real to add, such as a question about something she mentioned earlier or a plan that doesn't depend on her answering. If she goes quiet after that, leave it. People who spend a stretch at a parent's home often have less time and less mental space, and a quiet few days rarely means the conversation is over. Check back in once a few days later with something light, then stop if there's still nothing. Repeated messages in a row read as pressure, even when they're kind.