What to say when she says she's been talking to other people too

Early on, saying you're talking to other people is often just honesty. She's clearing the air before things get more involved, and that's a decent instinct. It also tells you she's thinking about where this is going and doesn't want you assuming exclusivity that hasn't been agreed. Read the rest of the message for tone. If she's warm and asks what you've been up to, she's inviting you to share. If the message is flat and ends the conversation, she may be signalling she isn't that invested yet.

Check how long you've been talking. Two weeks in, this is ordinary. Two months in with a lot of planning, it can mean she's been keeping her options open while you assumed otherwise. That changes how much weight you give it, and whether you ask a direct question about what each of you wants.

Your first job is to respond to what she actually said. Acknowledge that she told you directly, and say it's fine for where you are. Keep it short. Don't ask who the other people are, how many, or whether any of them are going well. Those questions turn an honest update into an interrogation, and they make her feel she has to manage your feelings.

Then say something true about your own situation. You can be talking to people too, or you can be focused on seeing where this goes with her. Either works. What matters is that you're not hiding your position or inflating it. Clarity makes the next step easier for both of you, and it lets her decide whether she wants to move closer or keep things loose.

Send your response when you're calm and it's a normal hour. A late-night reply to a message like this tends to come out too long, too eager, or too hurt, and it sits on the screen looking worse the next morning. If you read her message and feel a jolt, wait until that's settled before typing. A few hours is usually enough.

If she doesn't reply for a couple of days, leave it. A quiet stretch after this kind of disclosure is common, and it doesn't mean she's gone. Send one light message later, something about a plan or a question, to show you're still around and not sulking. If she stays silent after that, stop. Two thoughtful messages with no answer is a clear enough result, and continuing past it turns you into the person she wanted to avoid.