What to say when he ignores your texts but expects fast replies

When someone takes a long time to text but expects fast replies, they're not busy. They're selective. Busy people move through their messages when they can. Selective people move through messages from people they're treating as high priority.

If he's texting you at 11pm asking where you are but took 12 hours to answer your morning message, he's not managing time poorly. He's managing attention. That gap is real information. The reply needs to acknowledge this pattern exists, not pretend it's random.

Don't ask him to change overnight. Instead, make it clear that you'll now reply to him on the same timeline he uses with you. This does two things at once. First, it removes the pretense that you're just slower or less interested. Second, it forces him to feel what he's been creating. When he waits hours for your reply, he'll either realize the standard sucks or show you that he actually likes it this way.

The move is matter of fact, not bitter. You're not punishing him. You're synchronizing. That distinction matters because it keeps you from sounding resentful.

After you name it, give him two or three days of normal conversation. If he speeds up and matches your energy, great. The dynamic shifted. If he goes back to the slow replies and gets annoyed that you're not instant, then you know where you stand. Some people will choose consistency once it's pointed out. Others will only care about getting what they want.

Don't do multiple rounds of calling it out. One clean message, then observe what he does next. If nothing changes, stop expecting his pattern to work for you.