How to reply when he says he's been talking to others but wants to focus on you
He's telling you he's been seeing other people but wants to pick you. How to respond without looking desperate or closing doors.
He's signaling that you've moved up his priority list, but he's also admitting he had options in play. This is honest, which is good. It's also a moment where he's testing whether you'll accept the framing or push back on it.
A good reply does two things at once. It shows you heard what he said without pretending it didn't happen. And it moves the conversation forward on your terms, not his timeline. You're not forgiving him or blessing his past behavior. You're deciding what you need to happen next.
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Try for freeHe's testing whether you'll accept the messiness
When he tells you he's been talking to other people, he's doing two things. One, he's being transparent, which is better than lying. Two, he's seeing if you'll accept that he was exploring options while also wanting you in his life.
His message is an ask, not a done deal. He wants permission to move forward with you without having to explain his past week or two. He's also curious whether you care, or whether you'll just go along with it. The fact that he's telling you now, not later, suggests he's ready to move toward something real with you. But the ball is on your side of the court.
Show you're not naive and set one clear condition
Your reply needs to do three things. First, acknowledge that you heard him without making a big deal of it. Second, make it clear you were also talking to other people, if that's true. Don't lie, but don't volunteer details he didn't ask for. Third, name what needs to happen now. That usually means exclusivity starting immediately, or a conversation about what that looks like.
Don't negotiate in the text itself. Just state the condition and see if he's on board. If he pushes back or gets vague, you have your answer. If he agrees or asks when you want to talk about it, you're moving in the right direction.
Wait for a response before you change anything
Send your reply during the day, not late at night. Give him at least a few hours to see it and respond. If he doesn't reply within 24 hours, he's either busy or uncomfortable with what you asked. If it's the second one, that matters.
Don't delete his number from apps or stop talking to other people until he explicitly agrees to the same. Actions first, promises second. If he ghosts after this conversation, you've dodged something that wasn't going to work anyway. If he comes back with a real conversation about exclusivity, you know he was serious.
Why these replies fail
“Okay, I understand. I was talking to other people too but I'm happy to focus just on you now”
You're accepting his frame without setting any expectation for what happens next. He gets to move forward with zero friction.
“That's not cool that you were talking to other people while messaging me. I thought we had something real”
You're treating his honesty as a betrayal instead of addressing the actual decision in front of you. This shuts down the conversation.
“Me too, I've been talking to like 5 guys lol. But yeah you're my top pick so let's do this”
You're volunteering information he didn't ask for and it sounds defensive. Keep your options to yourself unless he asks.
Common mistakes
- Saying nothing and hoping it goes away. Silence reads as acceptance without conditions.
- Getting angry about his honesty instead of addressing what it means for the two of you going forward.
- Confessing you were also talking to others without being asked. Don't volunteer information he didn't request.
- Making a big speech about exclusivity. Keep it short and let him respond.
- Treating this like a commitment he's already made when it's still a proposal.
Questions people ask
- Should I tell him I was also talking to other people?
- Only if it's true and the conversation calls for it. If he asks whether you were, answer honestly. If he doesn't ask, you don't need to volunteer it. There's a difference between being honest and over-explaining.
- What if he says he wants to be exclusive but I'm not sure yet?
- Say so. You can tell him you like him and want to keep seeing him, but you're not ready to close the door on other options yet. He can decide if that works for him. No need to pretend you're ready if you're not.
- Is it a red flag that he was talking to other people?
- Not necessarily. He told you instead of hiding it. That's different from cheating or lying. The flag is what happens next. Does he agree to what you need, or does he get defensive about it?
- How long should I wait before I bring up exclusivity officially?
- Bring it up now if the conversation is already open. You don't need a special moment. Just say what you need. If he's ready, he'll engage. If he stalls, you have information.
What people say after using WingAI
“She went cold mid-week and I had no idea what to say. The reply I sent felt natural and she picked the chat back up.”
Marcus T.
“I overthink every text. Having three options and picking the one that sounds like me cut that spiral short.”
Sam R.
“I was skeptical at first. Then I tried it on a dry chat and the replies actually sounded like me, not a chatbot.”
Mazoonx
Get replies that sound like you
Screenshot the conversation in WingAI. It reads the vibe and gives you natural replies for this exact situation.
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