What to say when he says he doesn't want to lead you on

This phrasing (doesn't want to lead you on, owes you honesty) is a permission structure he's building for himself. He's not actually protecting you. He's lowering your expectations in advance so when he ghosts, cancels, or stays vague, you'll remember he warned you. It's a way to do something unkind while sounding kind.

The real message underneath is: I don't have what you want, and I'm telling you now so you can't say I wasn't honest later. That's useful information. Take it at face value. Don't reinterpret it as a sign he cares about you or that he's just going through something temporary. People who are interested in you figure out how to make room for you, even when things are hard.

He gave you an opening to either accept crumbs or leave quietly. A strong reply does two things. First, it shows you understood exactly what he said. No misreading, no hope sprinkled in. Second, it makes a choice and states it clearly. Not "let me know if you change your mind," but "I'm going to move forward expecting someone who is ready." You're not asking him to reconsider. You're not waiting for him to feel differently. You're taking him at his word and acting on it. This keeps you from checking your phone for his response or softening your boundary later when he texts with an excuse.

Reply the same day, in the evening or next morning when you can sound steady. Don't send it late at night. Don't wait three days pretending you're unbothered. One clear message, then nothing. No follow-up texts, no drunk voice notes, no checking if he's read it.

If he responds with something like "I really hope we can stay friends" or "Maybe things will be different later," do not engage. You already said what needed saying. His follow-up is him trying to keep the door cracked open. Close it. If he goes silent, that's your answer anyway. Either way, you stop investing time in responses after your initial reply.