What to say when she mentions being bad at app responses
Move the conversation off-app when she tells you she's slow to respond. Examples and strategy for texting instead.
When she says she's bad at responding on the app, she's giving you a reason to leave it. This is often a soft yes, not a soft no. She's either distracted by notifications buried under work stuff, or she's testing whether you'll actually make the effort to get her number. Either way, the move is the same. Don't sympathize and stay on the app. Get her number and move to text.
Your reply needs to acknowledge what she said without making it weird, then pivot to a concrete next step. The goal is to show you heard her and that you understand text works better. Then ask for her number in a way that assumes she'll say yes.
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Why she says she's bad at app responses
This statement has two possible readings. She might actually miss notifications buried under work emails and Slack. But she might also be testing whether you'll stay interested without constant back-and-forth. If she liked you and was on the app regularly, she'd respond quickly to keep momentum. The fact that she's mentioning it means she's aware she's been slow and wants to give you context.
In both cases, she's signaling that app chat isn't working for her. The app is designed to be slow anyway. Text has the advantage of being where her phone actually gets her attention. If you want to keep talking to her, move the conversation there.
The move when she brings it up
You need to do two things at once. Validate that text is better and get her number without hesitation. Don't treat it like a big ask. Agree casually that text is easier, then immediately say something like 'What's your number?' or 'Send me your number?'
The validation part matters because it shows you heard her and you're not annoyed. But keep it brief. One short line. Then move straight to the ask. If you linger on how much you understand her problem, you signal that you're willing to keep talking slowly on the app, which is the opposite of what you want.
What happens after she gives you her number
Send her a text within an hour. Not immediately from the conversation, but soon after you've moved to text. Keep it short. Reference something from your chat or just say you're texting so she has your number. Then wait for her to respond. If she was actually bad on the app, text is a chance to prove to her that you're worth the quick replies.
If she doesn't respond to your first text within a day, send one more. After that, move on. Being bad at responding on the app but also bad at responding via text means the issue isn't the platform. It's her interest level.
Why these replies fail
“Haha no worries at all! I'm always on here so just message whenever”
You're reassuring her that staying on the app is fine, which defeats the whole point of her hint
“Yeah that's totally understandable. A lot of people struggle with app notifications. I find texts way easier too, so if you ever want to switch over just let me know”
You're giving her the option instead of asking, which sounds uncertain and puts the burden on her to suggest it
“I completely get it. Would you maybe possibly want to exchange numbers at some point so we can text instead?”
Too tentative and formal. You're asking permission rather than suggesting something obvious
Common mistakes
- Saying 'no worries' and continuing the conversation on the app, which proves her point
- Making it a big deal ('I totally understand, no pressure') when it should be casual
- Asking for her number as a question instead of a suggestion
- Waiting to ask for her number, instead of doing it in the same message
- Over-explaining why text is better or why you want her number
Questions people ask
- Is saying she's bad at app responses actually an excuse to reject me?
- Could be, but usually no. If she hated you, she'd just not respond and unmatch. Saying it out loud is closer to an invitation. She's either actually buried in notifications or she's testing your follow-through. Either way, ask for her number. If she refuses, then you have your answer.
- Should I wait for her to bring up texting first?
- No. You bring it up. She handed you the opening by mentioning slow responses. Using it shows you're paying attention and willing to move things forward. It also shows you're not anxious about asking for her number.
- What if she doesn't give me her number or says she's not comfortable yet?
- That's a no, even if it's polite. Don't push. If she's interested, she'll offer it without a lot of convincing. If she has real safety concerns, she'll say so directly. If she's dodging, accept it and move on.
- How long should I wait before following up if she doesn't text back?
- Send one text within 24 hours of when you first texted. If there's no response after another 24 hours, stop. Some people really are bad at responding everywhere. But by then you'll know it's not a platform problem.
What people say after using WingAI
“My openers used to be boring. Now I reference something from her profile and people actually write back.”
Aiden K.
“I overthink every text. Having three options and picking the one that sounds like me cut that spiral short.”
Sam R.
“I was skeptical at first. Then I tried it on a dry chat and the replies actually sounded like me, not a chatbot.”
Mazoonx
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