What to say to get her number after she says she's picky

When she writes that she's picky, she's describing a screen she's already decided to apply. It's less a rejection of you in particular and more a note about what she expects to see. So the useful question isn't whether you're good enough. It's whether your messages show the thing she says she's filtering for. Look at her exact wording. If she mentions humour, the test is whether you can be funny in a single line without setting up a long joke. If she mentions effort, the test is whether your messages refer to something specific she wrote. If she mentions generic openers, the test is whether you've said anything that could only have been said to her.

Also notice how she's talking. Someone who's picky but still engaged will keep the conversation going and ask questions back. Someone who's picky and already checked out will give one-word answers. The first kind is telling you where the bar is. The second kind is telling you she's mostly decided. Your reply needs to fit the first kind, and you shouldn't spend effort on the second.

A reply that works here does three things, roughly in this order. First, it shows you took her seriously by picking up one specific detail from her message and responding to that, not to the general idea of being picky. Second, it keeps things light without getting defensive. Match her tone and don't explain yourself. Third, it leaves a natural opening for the next step, usually a question she can answer with more than yes or no. That keeps the conversation moving, so when the number request comes, it feels like a continuation.

What a reply shouldn't do is ask for her number, pitch a date, or compare you to other people she may have talked to. Each of those signals that you're thinking about the outcome rather than the exchange. Keep the reply on her standard, since that's what she brought up, and let the ask come later once the thread has a rhythm.

Timing matters as much as wording. Reply in a window that fits the conversation you're having. Not instantly, and not after a long gap that makes her wonder if you've lost interest. If she's been replying within a few hours, a reply in a similar window reads as engaged. If things have been slow, match that pace instead of speeding up, because a sudden burst of messages after a quiet day can feel like pressure.

If you don't hear back, wait at least a full day before doing anything else. Don't send a follow-up that repeats your point or asks whether she saw it. One gentle follow-up at most is fair if the conversation was going well. If she still doesn't respond, let it go. A picky person who's gone quiet has given you her answer, and more messages will only make the last thing she remembers about you a request she didn't want to answer.