What to do when he only texts after drinking

Start with what's happening on his side. Someone who texts only late at night, after drinks, usually has you somewhere in his head but hasn't decided you deserve a spot in his daytime routine. Alcohol loosens the part of the brain that weighs consequences, so he sends the message he'd talk himself out of at noon. That doesn't make the feeling fake. It does mean the feeling hasn't been strong enough to beat his own hesitation when he's clear-headed, and that gap is the real information.

Next, think about what you want from this. Maybe you want him to start texting in daylight. Maybe you only want to know where you stand so you can stop wondering. Maybe you're half over it and just want a graceful way out. Each goal calls for a different reply, so settle on one before you type anything. Replying while you're hoping and fuming at the same time tends to produce messages that satisfy neither.

Timing matters more here than on most texting problems. A message that lands at 1am usually arrives when he's with friends, in a bar, or walking home, so your answer competes with noise and may not even be read properly. Replying within minutes also teaches him that the late window works. A reply the next morning or afternoon moves the conversation into the hours when he's accountable for what he says, and his reaction to that shift is half the test.

What tends to backfire is the emotional audit. Texting back a long message about how this makes you feel, or asking why he never contacts you sober, invites a defensive reply or a vague apology he won't remember. He's also often embarrassed the next day, which can make him pull away rather than improve. Anger, sarcasm and clever traps fail for the same reason: they hand him a conflict to avoid instead of a simple door to walk through.

Finally, watch what he does after your reply, because that is the answer. If he follows up the next afternoon, even with something small, he's willing to be seen wanting to talk. If he goes quiet until the next round of drinks, nothing has changed, however warm the late messages sound. Look at the pattern across a few weeks rather than any single night, and notice whether his daytime silence ever breaks without alcohol pushing it.