What to do when he flirts hard then goes silent for days

Look at the shape of the flirting before you focus on the silence. If the messages were playful and specific, like he referenced something you said or pushed toward meeting, he was engaged. If the flirting was generic, lots of 'you're so cute' with no follow up questions, the interest may have been mostly mood.

Then look at how the silence started. A man who goes quiet right after a late night exchange may have sent something he now feels awkward about in daylight. A man who goes quiet right after you asked for a plan may be stalling because he is not ready to commit. Days of silence after heavy flirting is often a fast burn pattern. He matched your energy quickly, then his life or his nerves caught up. Read it as information about his pace, not a verdict on you.

Start by matching the tone he used. If he was teasing, tease back lightly. Do not switch into a careful, serious register, because that tells him you noticed the gap and are managing it. Warmth keeps the flirting from feeling like a rejection.

Then make one specific move. Name a day, a place, or an activity, and make it easy to say yes to. Vague invitations like 'we should hang out sometime' give him nothing to answer, so the thread drifts. A concrete ask also tests his follow through fairly, since he now has to say yes, no, or propose a real alternative. Keep the whole message short enough to read as easy. One thought, one question, done.

Give him a real window before you send anything else. If you already sent a concrete plan, wait at least two full days before a follow up, and make sure the follow up adds something new rather than repeating the same question. A light message about something from your day works better than asking whether he saw your text, because it lets him come back without feeling audited.

If there is still no answer, stop initiating for a while. One unanswered follow up is enough. Two starts to look like you are working much harder than he is, and that dynamic is hard to recover from. Keep your own life moving, and watch whether he returns on his own with a specific message, not just a like or a meme. If he flirts, vanishes, and reappears without explanation more than once, you have learned how much bandwidth he has.