He asks if you're seeing anyone but won't say the same
He's asking about exclusivity but dodging the question when reversed. Here's how to respond without letting him control the conversation.
When someone asks if you're seeing other people but refuses to answer the same question, they're testing whether you'll be transparent while staying vague themselves. This is a control move, not confusion. He wants information about your options while keeping his own off the table.
A good reply does two things at once. It answers his question directly so you're not the evasive one. And it flips the imbalance back by making clear you need the same information before this goes further. You're not punishing him. You're just refusing to be the only person putting cards on the table.
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Try for freeThe asymmetry he's creating
He's asking you to be accountable for your dating life while keeping his hidden. This isn't about communication style or him being shy. Someone who likes you and wants clarity wants it both ways. The refusal to reciprocate suggests he wants you committed or at least exclusive while keeping his options open. It's a low-stakes way to see if you'll accept unequal terms. Recognizing this fast matters. The longer you answer his questions without reciprocation, the more he'll assume you're fine with the imbalance.
State your answer, then set the condition
Your reply needs to do two separate jobs. First, answer his question directly and honestly. Don't dodge back or make him guess. Second, make it clear that you need the same information before moving forward. This isn't a question. It's a statement about what you need to continue. The tone should be straightforward, not angry or suspicious. You're not accusing him of anything. You're just saying the conversation has to go both ways or it stops here.
What happens if he still won't answer
If he dodges again or says something vague, you have your answer. He's either seeing someone else and doesn't want to lose you, or he values control over honesty. Neither is worth waiting around for clarity. Don't ask a third time. Move on or keep things light and casual, but don't treat this like a misunderstanding that more patience will fix. If someone won't give you basic information when asked directly twice, they're showing you they won't be straightforward with you. Believe that.
Why these replies fail
“Yeah, I'm not seeing anyone else. What about you?”
You answered completely while he gets to stay vague, which reinforces his control and gives him everything he asked for with no cost.
“That's kind of unfair that you're asking me but won't answer the same question. I deserve honesty too.”
It sounds like you're negotiating or pleading for fair treatment instead of just stating what you need and letting him decide whether to meet it.
“I'm not seeing anyone else, but I really need to know the same from you before we keep going. I hope you understand why.”
The 'I hope you understand why' makes it sound like you're asking permission for a reasonable boundary instead of stating it.
Common mistakes
- Answering fully while letting his non-answer slide, which rewards the dodge
- Getting defensive or calling him out for hypocrisy instead of just moving forward
- Asking the question back without stating your own answer first, which puts you on his timeline
- Over-explaining why you need to know, which sounds like negotiating a boundary instead of stating it
- Staying quiet hoping he'll volunteer the info later, which just normalizes the imbalance
Questions people ask
- Should I call him out for the double standard?
- No. Calling someone out usually makes them defensive without changing their behavior. Just answer directly and state what you need next. If he's reasonable, he'll get it. If he's not, that tells you what you need to know.
- What if he says he doesn't like being asked personal questions?
- That's a reason, not an excuse. Someone who wants a real connection with you will answer basic questions about their dating life. This is him showing you he won't be vulnerable or transparent. You can decide if that works for you, but don't try to convince him it's okay to answer.
- Is it okay to wait a bit and ask again later?
- Not if he dodged it here. Asking again just gives him more chances to avoid you. One direct ask per topic is enough. After that, his silence is the answer.
- What if I'm not sure whether I want exclusivity yet?
- That's fine. You can still say 'I'm not seeing anyone else right now' without committing to exclusivity. The point is answering truthfully. But you can also say you're still figuring things out while you both are, then ask what he's doing.
What people say after using WingAI
“I was skeptical at first. Then I tried it on a dry chat and the replies actually sounded like me, not a chatbot.”
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“Used it for a couple hours and set up a date the same night. Not even kidding.”
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“I overthink every text. Having three options and picking the one that sounds like me cut that spiral short.”
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