He says he's talking to other people too: what to reply
He admitted he's still messaging other people on the app. Here's how to read it, what a good reply does, and when to walk away.
When someone tells you they're talking to other people on the app, they're giving you information you can use. Most people say it because they want to be honest early, not because they're trying to hurt you. It still tells you where you stand: you're one option among several, not the only one.
The reply doesn't need to win him over or make him jealous. It needs to tell him clearly what you want, so you're not guessing and he's not guessing either. Some people hear "I'm talking to others" and start performing, pulling back to see who chases. Don't do that. Answer the actual question in front of you: do you want to keep talking to him knowing this?
A good reply is short, calm, and honest about your own pace. It lets you find out whether he's fine with you being selective too, without a fight or an ultimatum.
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Read what he's actually telling you
A line like "I'm talking to a few people too" is usually a status update, not a verdict on you. It tells you he's still in the early stage with several people and hasn't picked one. Pay attention to what comes next. If he follows it with a question about what you want, or asks how you feel, he's trying to be direct. If he drops it and changes the subject, he probably wanted it said and didn't want to talk about it.
Check the rest of the conversation too. Has he been putting real effort into planning a time to meet, or are his messages getting vague and slow? A person who's choosing you looks different from a person who's keeping options open and hoping nothing forces a decision. The admission matters less than whether his behaviour lines up with it.
Say what you want without making it a contest
You need to tell him where you're at in plain words. The reply has to do three things: acknowledge that you heard him, state your own preference, and leave room for him to answer. Acknowledging doesn't mean approving. You can say it's fine that he's being honest without saying you're happy about it.
Your preference should be about your own pace, not a rule for him. Something like wanting to get to know one person properly before you split your attention is a fair thing to say. Keep it about what you're looking for rather than what you're asking him to give up. That keeps the conversation open and gives him a real choice instead of a fight to win.
Give it a day before you decide
Don't reply in the middle of a jealous spiral or right after a night out. Send your message when you can read it back in daylight and still mean it. If he replies warmly and gets specific about plans, that's a good sign you can keep going, though you should still watch whether his effort holds over the next week.
If he doesn't answer within two or three days, don't keep sending follow-ups that repeat the same point. One gentle nudge is fine. If it still goes quiet, or he answers with something vague that doesn't address what you asked, that's your answer. You don't need him to tell you he's dropping the others. Stop when the effort stops being mutual.
Why these replies fail
“Oh so I'm just one of the girls you're chatting to? Cool, good to know.”
It turns his honesty into a sarcastic jab and hands him a reason to get defensive instead of talking.
“How many people are you talking to? Is it serious with any of them?”
It asks him to rank and report on other people, which makes you look like you're keeping score.
“No worries at all, I'm totally chill about it, I'm talking to lots of people too haha”
It sounds breezy on the surface but is a bluff, and it makes the whole thing a competition you'll likely lose.
Common mistakes
- Treating the admission as a test you have to pass by being more interesting than the others
- Asking who the other people are or how many he's messaging
- Pretending it doesn't bother you when it does, then going cold a week later
- Demanding he stop talking to others before you've agreed to anything exclusive
- Sending a long paragraph about your feelings in reply to one sentence
Questions people ask
- Is it a red flag if a guy says he's talking to other people?
- Not automatically. Early on it's common and often means he's being honest. It becomes a red flag if he's vague about it, pushes you to hurry into exclusivity while still keeping options open, or his effort drops off once he has other matches. Judge it by how he acts over the next week, not by the admission alone.
- Should I tell him I'm talking to other people too?
- You can, if it's true and you want him to know. Say it because it reflects your situation, not to make him jealous. Mentioning it calmly often makes the conversation feel fair and gives both of you room to choose without pretending you're only seeing each other.
- How long should I wait for him to respond?
- Give him two or three days. If you asked a direct question, a reply that avoids it is still a reply, so notice whether he engages. One gentle follow-up is fine. If he goes quiet after that, stop sending messages. Silence after an honest conversation usually answers the question.
- Should I stop talking to him if he's still seeing other people?
- Only if you don't want to keep splitting your attention. Being selective is a valid choice, and you don't owe him an open-ended wait. If you do want to continue, set a clear point where you'd like to talk about exclusivity, then check whether his effort and plans match what he's saying when that point arrives.
What people say after using WingAI
“I was skeptical at first. Then I tried it on a dry chat and the replies actually sounded like me, not a chatbot.”
Mazoonx
“She went cold mid-week and I had no idea what to say. The reply I sent felt natural and she picked the chat back up.”
Marcus T.
“I overthink every text. Having three options and picking the one that sounds like me cut that spiral short.”
Sam R.
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