Texting someone who only talks about themselves: what to do

Look at the last ten or so messages, not just the latest one. If she has told you about her commute, her sister, her gym schedule and a dress she bought, and you have only ever been asked one question back, that is a clearer signal than any single message. Notice whether her questions about you, when they appear at all, are generic ("how was your day") or specific to something you said. Specific questions mean she was listening. Generic ones usually mean she is making conversation without much attention to where it goes.

Also notice what she does with your replies. If you give her a question to chew on and she answers it fully, then moves on, she is engaged but not reciprocal. If she ignores your question and jumps back to herself, she is more absorbed in her own telling. Those two patterns call for slightly different moves, so it helps to know which one you are dealing with before you reply.

When she gives you five things, you do not need to answer all five. Choose the one with the most energy in it and build on that. The nails, the boss moving standup, the show: each is a door. A reply that opens one door and steps through it gives her a clear next move, which is the thing a self-focused texter often needs. You are not criticizing her for talking about herself, you are simply making a second voice part of the thread.

Bring in a small piece of your own only after you have engaged with hers. A short story or opinion that connects to her detail works well, because it gives her something to respond to beyond a yes or no. Keep your share about the same length as hers, so the exchange feels like a conversation rather than a handoff to a new monologue.

Two or three exchanges where you engage with her details and she still mostly returns to herself is enough to learn something. One exchange is not. Reply in a reasonable window, roughly the same rhythm she uses, and do not chase. If the conversation goes quiet after you have replied, wait a day before sending anything, and then a single light message that picks up a thread from earlier is enough.

If there is still no reciprocal interest after that, you can let it end without an explanation. You do not need to confront her about the imbalance or hint that she is self-centered. If you are seeing her in person, the in-person conversation will tell you much more than the texts, so consider moving the thread toward a plan. If she keeps the conversation one-sided even when you are standing in front of her, you have your answer.