How to text him asking to be official without pushing him away

When you ask him to be official, you're asking him to move from 'this is good' to 'this is committed.' Those aren't the same thing in his head. Most guys don't think about being official the way you do. He might really like you and still not have considered whether to use that word.

That doesn't mean he's avoiding you or keeping his options open. It means the question is new information. Read his delay as thinking time, not rejection. If he's been consistent with you, responsive, and wants to see you, he's already acting like someone who wants to be with you. Asking him to say it out loud is just making the thing official that's already happening.

Your message needs to be short enough that it feels casual, not like a breakup conversation or a proposal. The move is to state what you want clearly, then get out of his way. Don't explain why you're asking, don't apologize for asking, and don't ask him to reassure you that he likes you.

If you ask and he says yes, great. If he says 'I'm not ready for that yet' or 'let's see where it goes,' then you have real information and can decide if that's okay with you. The trap is asking in a way that makes him feel like he has to comfort you or convince you he's serious. He should answer the question, not manage your feelings about it.

Timing matters more than people think. Send this text during the day when he's usually texting back. Not at 11pm when you're alone in your head. Not after he goes quiet for a few hours and you're anxious. Not right after a fight.

If he doesn't reply in a few hours, leave it. Check back once the next day with something casual if he's still silent. After that, if he's not responding to a direct question about the relationship, you have your answer. He's either not sure or not interested in naming it. That's information you can use to decide what to do next.