Text her you want to stop playing games and be real

If she's keeping things light and jokey, that's not always a sign she doesn't care. Sometimes it means she doesn't feel safe opening up, or she's testing whether you're the kind of person who can handle honesty. Sometimes it just means she's busy or hasn't thought much about it. The pattern that matters is whether she ever volunteers anything real about herself, asks about your life in ways that show she's listening, or gives you anything to work with. If every message is a one-liner or a deflection, she may not be interested in deepening things. That doesn't mean she never will be, but pushing the issue now will backfire.

A good move here acknowledges the pattern she can see too, then tells her what you want instead of what you're tired of. Don't phrase it as her failing. Phrase it as you wanting different. This means saying something like "I'd rather hear what you actually think" instead of "you never share anything real." It means asking an actual question that needs a real answer, not a yes/no. Show her the kind of conversation you want by having it. Don't ask her to change her texting style while you stay surface-level. Go first.

Timing matters because context shapes how she reads this. A text sent on a weekday afternoon when you're both probably at work or doing something normal reads like a real thought, not something you spiraled about at night. If she doesn't respond for hours or a day, let it sit. Sending a follow-up the same day makes it look like you need reassurance. She may be thinking about it, or she may not be ready to answer. If she goes silent for three days, that's your answer. A single "hey" after that gives her one more opening. After that, move forward.