Text her you both deserve clarity about your feelings

Mixed signals usually mean she's doing contradictory things. She's warm one day and distant the next. She initiates sometimes, goes quiet for a week, then flirts again. That pattern is telling you something is unclear in her mind, or she's keeping her options open.

Someone who needs time looks different. They're consistent but slower. They reply thoughtfully but with gaps. They're present when they're with you but don't push momentum forward. These people often respond well to clarity requests because they've been unsure how to bring it up themselves. Mixed signals people sometimes avoid clarity because it forces them to choose. Reading which one you're dealing with helps you know what tone to use. Slow and steady gets a gentle ask. Hot and cold gets directness without accusation.

The move here is to mention what you're noticing as a feeling, not a failing. 'Things have felt unclear' works. 'You've been inconsistent' sounds like you're tallying mistakes. One invites her to reflect. The other puts her on trial.

You're also telling her this matters to you, so you want to know what's real. That's not neediness. That's saying I'm old enough to not waste time on people who don't know what they want. Follow that by asking where she actually stands right now, and give her room to answer honestly even if the honest answer is 'I'm not sure yet.' Sometimes the clarity is that she needs more time. That's still an answer.

Timing matters because the time you send signals your emotional state. A 2am message about feelings looks like you're spiraling. A morning message looks like something you thought through. Give yourself at least a few hours after you feel frustrated to write and send this. If you're angry, wait until you're not.

After you send it, don't follow up for at least three to five days unless she's actually given you a reason to. If she doesn't respond in that window, that's information too. It often means she's avoiding the answer because she knows it's not what you want to hear. At that point, you have a choice to make about whether you're willing to stay in unclear territory. Don't send a second message demanding a response. That just looks like pressure and usually backfires.