Should you text them about your dating app activity?

Whether you should mention your app activity depends almost entirely on where things are. Two dates in, most people are still on apps, and nobody expects otherwise. Mentioning it can come across as overthinking. Six weeks in with someone who has said they're not seeing anyone else, the same silence starts to look like you're keeping a door open.

Look at what has actually been said. Have you talked about being exclusive? Have they stopped mentioning other people? Are you still getting matched and swiping while you're seeing them? If the honest answer is that you haven't discussed it, the question isn't really about the app. It's about whether you both want the same thing, and that conversation is worth having directly.

A good text states the fact and your intention without a paragraph of justification. Something like telling them you still have a profile up and that you'd like to be clear with them about where you are. The aim is to give them information they can use, not to make them carry your uncertainty.

After you send it, leave the pause alone. Don't follow up with a second message clarifying you didn't mean anything by it. People often add three caveats in a row because the silence feels unbearable, and each caveat makes the first message look more loaded. One clear message, then wait for their reply.

If you send something and get a short or slow reply, resist reading it as a verdict. People take time with messages like this, especially when they're deciding how they feel. A delay of a day or two is normal. Sending a second text within an hour usually makes you look anxious rather than clear.

If there's still nothing after several days, you have a real answer, even if it's an unclear one. You can send one short follow-up that asks directly whether they want to keep seeing each other and what they'd like to do. If the reply is still vague, take that as information about the relationship, not a problem to solve with more texts.