Text or call to ask if she wants to be official

Before you pick your medium, figure out if she's been waiting for you to ask or if this will blindside her. Has she brought up the future, asked what you want, or mentioned other people? Has she been consistent about plans and responsive to you? If yes to most of these, she's probably ready. If she's been vague about labels, flaky with timing, or hesitant to introduce you to people, then asking to be official will pressure her into a corner.

The timing of when you ask matters. Don't ask after a single bad week or fight. Don't ask when she's stressed with work. Do ask when you've spent real time together recently and things feel warm. She should be in a place where she can actually think.

A call works better if you've already had deeper conversations, you're both comfortable being vulnerable, or you've been dating long enough that it feels natural. It shows you're serious and takes guts. It also lets you read her tone and move past awkwardness in real time. Text works if you're earlier in the relationship, you live far apart, or she tends to process things better in writing.

If you go text, be brief and direct. Ask the question, not the reasoning. If you go call, give her a heads up first so she's not caught off guard at work. Say something like "hey, want to call tonight? want to talk about us." Then actually call. Don't text the whole thing. Don't send a paragraph.

If she says yes, you're done. There's no follow-up strategy needed. If she says she needs time to think, give her a real deadline. Don't say "let me know whenever." Say "can you think about it by this weekend?" If she deflects or changes the subject, that's an answer on its own. She's not ready, and pushing harder won't change that.

If she doesn't respond within 24 hours, send one follow-up message keeping it light. "all good if timing isn't right, just want to know." After that, drop it. If she ghosts the question, stop dating her. You've been clear and patient. That's enough.