Should you give him an ultimatum about exclusivity or break up

When someone won't commit after you've been together for a few months, it's usually not because they're scared or need more time. It's because they don't want to commit to you. That's the read you have to sit with. He's either actively dating others, staying available in case someone better comes along, or he's just not that interested in exclusivity with you.

His reason for the stall doesn't matter much. 'I'm not ready for anything serious' and 'Let's just see where this goes' both mean the same thing. He's keeping his options open. That's fine. It's his choice. But now you need to know if you're willing to accept that, or if you need something different. That clarity is what the talk is actually about.

The strongest move here is to drop the accusation and just name your boundary. Don't say 'You need to decide' or 'You're stringing me along.' Say 'I need to be exclusive with someone I'm with, so I'm looking for that commitment.' Then stop talking. Let him decide.

This works because it puts the focus where it belongs. On your needs, not on his faults. You're not trying to convince him or make him feel guilty. You're simply saying what you require to keep going. He either meets it or he doesn't. If he starts explaining why he can't or why he needs more time, that's your answer. No ultimatum changes that.

After you draw the line, your job is to actually hold it. If he goes quiet for a few days, don't text him asking if you hurt his feelings. If he says he needs time to think, give him a few days but not weeks. If a week passes and he hasn't committed, that's your answer. The hardest part isn't saying the words. It's being willing to leave if he doesn't step up.

Many people give the ultimatum, he doesn't respond how they wanted, and they stay anyway. Now you've trained him that your boundaries don't matter. If you're going to do this, you have to mean it.