Should you ask for a second date if they talked mostly about themselves

Some people are just bad at texting. They ramble about themselves because they're nervous, because asking questions feels risky, or because they've never learned to build reciprocal text conversations. That doesn't mean they wouldn't be present and engaged in person. On the flip side, some people talk only about themselves because they're self-absorbed and you'll see the same pattern on a date.

The real signal is whether they responded to you at all. Did they answer your questions directly or give one-word replies? Did they engage with what you said or ignore it? That matters more than whether they asked questions back. People who are interested often show it differently in text than in person. A mediocre texter can still be a good date.

Your ask needs to do two things at once. First, it has to be direct and low-pressure so they don't feel like you're testing them or need them to make up for bad texting. Second, it has to frame the date as the actual beginning of connection, not a continuation of texting. Don't reference the conversation quality or apologize for the imbalance. Just name a specific time and place that appeals to you, and make it easy for them to say yes or no.

This move works because it stops the texting pattern dead and creates a new context. If they're worth dating, they'll either say yes or give you a reason. If they say yes and show up, you get to see if there's actual chemistry. You're not trying to fix anything in the ask. You're just proposing the next step.

Send the ask during a time when they're likely to see it and have a moment to respond. Weekday evenings or weekend mornings work better than 3am. Then wait a full day for a response. If they're interested, they'll usually confirm within 24 hours, even if they have to check their calendar.

If they don't respond in 48 hours, send one follow-up text keeping it brief and light. After that, stop. You've made the move twice. A third text reads as chasing. If they come back later with an excuse or a rescheduled time, you can engage once. But if they flake or ghost after saying yes, don't ask again. You're looking for someone who wants to meet you, not someone you have to convince.