She wants exclusive but still talks to other guys: what to say

She could have said nothing and kept talking to others. Instead she told you. That tells you she's not trying to hide it, which is a point in her favour, but it doesn't tell you she's ready to stop. Her actual words matter more than the tone. "I don't feel like I should be" is different from "I want to be but I'm not sure yet." The first suggests she's already leaning your way and wants permission. The second suggests she's still weighing options. Look at how much she has invested in you since the last date, how often she initiates, and whether she's making plans or just replying. Those things will tell you more than the exclusivity conversation itself.

Also notice what she didn't say. She didn't say she's been seeing anyone specific, and she didn't say she wants to keep her options open long term. That's useful. It means you can ask a direct question and get a useful answer.

Your reply has to make your own position unambiguous. You want exclusivity, and you're asking her to decide whether she wants the same. Don't frame it as a deal she has to accept. Frame it as a question about where she is. Name a rough timeline if it helps, because an open-ended "whenever you're ready" invites drift. Something like wanting to know within a couple of weeks is concrete without being a threat.

You also need to avoid turning the reply into a debate about the other guys. Don't ask who they are or how many. Those details won't change your decision, and asking invites a defensive or embarrassed response. Keep the focus on the two of you and what each person is willing to commit to. If she asks what you're doing in the meantime, answer plainly: you're not dating others, and you'd like her to decide soon.

Send the reply and then give her real time to answer. A day is fine for a casual exchange, but this is a bigger question and it deserves a slower response. If she goes quiet for a few days after you've asked, that is itself an answer, even if she never says so. Don't fill the gap with follow-up messages asking if she saw your text. One clear message is enough. If she replies warmly and says she's stopping, take her at her word and watch what she does over the next couple of weeks.

If she replies vaguely, like "I like you a lot, let's see," don't accept that as a yes. Ask once more, more directly, what she's deciding and by when. If the second reply is still vague, or if you're the one doing all the planning and reaching out, step back. Stop initiating for a while and see whether she fills the space. If she doesn't, you have your answer, and you should end things politely instead of waiting for her to change.