What to do when she keeps flaking on me

One cancellation with a real reason and a real reschedule is normal life. Two or three cancellations that come late, that come with vague excuses, or that end with no new date is a signal. Look at how she handles the reschedule itself. Does she propose a time, or does she say let's see? Does she move quickly toward something concrete, or does the thread drift? Someone who is interested but busy will usually name a window. Someone who is ambivalent tends to keep the plan floating without ever landing it.

Also notice what happens when things go well. If she is warm and engaged in text but never commits to a time, the gap is in logistics or in her willingness to be seen with you, not in her feelings about talking to you. That distinction matters for how hard you push.

Three kinds of reply tend to work here. The first is a short acknowledgment that closes the loop without judgment, something that says the plan is off and you are fine with it. Its job is to remove any sense that she owes you an apology. You can tell a draft is this kind because it contains no question about the reason and no reference to what the cancellation cost you. It should leave out any reproach.

The second is a reschedule that puts a concrete proposal in front of her. Its job is to make a yes easier than a maybe. A good sign is that it names one or two specific windows and is easy to answer in a single word. It should leave out an open-ended you pick, because that hands her the work.

The third is a direct but calm check-in, used only after a pattern has shown up. Its job is to ask about the plan rather than about her character. It should leave out the words always or never and any statement about what you deserve.

Do not reply the minute she cancels. Give it a few hours so your response reads as calm rather than reactive. If she has proposed a new time, confirm it the same day and do not add commentary. If she has not, wait until the next day and offer one specific window, then leave it.

If she accepts, let the plan happen and do not bring up the earlier flakes unless she does. If there is no answer after one proposal, send one light follow-up two or three days later and drop the date. A second follow-up is usually where it starts to look like chasing. If she still does not commit after two real proposals and one follow-up, stop investing scheduling energy there. Keep the thread open only if she is still warm in text, and be ready to let it go if she is not.