She got defensive when you asked why she takes hours to reply

Her reaction was to the framing more than the content. "Why do you take so long to text me" asks her to account for herself, and most people feel that as pressure even when it's meant lightly. Her defensiveness usually means she felt evaluated, not that she has something to hide. Some people text in bursts and go quiet for hours because they find constant messaging draining. Others are simply not that invested yet and don't think about it much. Neither of those is a verdict on you.

What she wrote back is more informative than the defensiveness itself. A short, slightly awkward answer that offers a real reason (work, hating phones, low energy) suggests she's willing to meet you halfway. A vague or clipped answer that changes the subject suggests she'd prefer not to discuss texting habits at all, which is also useful to know.

When someone bristles, the reply that works first accepts what she said and then steps out of the topic. Her answer is the thing to respond to, so take it at face value. If she said she doesn't like texting all day, you can agree that constant messaging gets tiring without tying it back to your original question. That tells her you're not still auditing her responsiveness.

After that, the only real job is to keep the conversation moving toward something you both enjoy. A specific plan, a question about her week, or a comment about something she said earlier all do this better than a meta comment about how she communicates. Keep it short. The point is to make the earlier exchange feel closed, not to prove you were right to ask.

Once you've sent a calm reply, wait a full day before doing anything else. A gap of six to twenty-four hours is normal for someone who doesn't text constantly, and checking again within an hour will undo the reset you just made. If she replies warmly, match her pace and let the conversation return to its normal rhythm, even if that rhythm is slower than you'd like.

If she goes quiet after your reply, send at most one more light message a few days later, something that doesn't reference the earlier conversation at all. If that also gets no response, stop. Continuing to follow up after a clear signal of disinterest or discomfort turns a mild awkwardness into a pattern she'll remember.