Is she interested if she talks mostly about herself on dates

People talk about themselves when they're anxious. It's a safety move. They know their own story, they control it, and they don't have to read your reactions. If she seemed nervous, made eye contact when you talked, or mentioned wanting to see you again, the self-focus might be anxiety rather than rejection.

But indifference also looks like self-focus. A disinterested person will talk about themselves and not care whether you're tracking or following along. She won't ask clarifying questions about your life. She won't remember something you said and bring it up later. The difference is attention. Does she track what you're saying, or does she just wait for her turn to talk?

Don't ask generic questions like 'how was your week' or 'what do you like to do for fun.' She'll just give you another monologue. Instead, reference something specific you told her on the date and ask her opinion on it. Say something like 'I'm torn between these two job offers. What would you do?' or 'I've been thinking about moving to the coast. Do you think that's crazy?'

This works because it forces her to actually engage with your life instead of performing hers. If she's interested, she'll ask clarifying questions. If she's self-absorbed, she'll either redirect to herself or give a surface-level answer and move on. You'll have a clear read within one exchange.

Wait until the next day to text. Don't reach out the same night unless she texted you first. When you do message, reference the date specifically and include a real question that shows you were paying attention. Something like 'I really liked hearing about your trip. I was curious about what you thought of that thing I mentioned about work.'

If she doesn't engage with your question and steers back to herself, that's your answer. Don't text again until she sends something that shows she's meeting you halfway. If she goes radio silent after you ask a question that required her to think about you, let it go. After two one-sided exchanges with no reciprocation, stop initiating.