Is it okay to message her after not talking for a few days

If you were messaging back and forth regularly, then suddenly radio silence, she either got busy or lost interest. You can't know which from the gap alone.

Look at the conversation before it stopped. Were messages getting shorter. Was she taking longer to reply. Was the talk going nowhere. If the chat was already cooling down, those few days are just the official end. If it was warm and flowing, the silence is likely just life getting in the way.

The difference matters because it changes what you do. A warm conversation that went quiet is worth a simple check-in. A conversation that was already dying stays dead.

Don't message to apologize or to ask why she disappeared. Don't ask how she's been in a way that demands a long reply. Both of those put pressure on her to perform.

Instead, text because something reminded you of her, or because you actually have something to say. Keep it short. Ask something that takes two seconds to answer, or just share a thought. Make it clear you're not keeping score of her silence. Give her permission to reply when she actually wants to, not out of obligation.

Text in the afternoon or early evening when she's likely to see it and can reply without thinking too hard. Avoid late night, early morning, or the weekend unless you know she's active then.

After you send, wait as long as the gap was. If she didn't message for three days, give her three days to reply. Don't send a follow-up just because she hasn't answered yet. If there's still nothing after that second gap, stop. She's not interested. You tried twice and got quiet both times. That's the answer.