Is it normal to feel anxious when dating someone new

The butterflies and the second-guessing are signs you actually like this person and the outcome matters to you. That's different from red flag anxiety, which is when something about her behavior actually worries you.

Read what's really happening: Is she taking hours to reply? Is she flaking? Is she sending short answers? Those are signals to watch. But if she's engaged, asking you questions, and making plans, the anxiety you're feeling is just the normal weight of caring about someone. It will settle down as you spend more time together and build trust.

When you're anxious, the instinct is to text in a way that controls how she sees you. You speed up replies to look keen. You slow down to look cool. You add jokes to seem charming. You ask safe questions to keep things light. All of that creates distance because she's reading your self-protection, not you.

A good reply in this state is straightforward: you say what you mean and you don't apologize for wanting to see her again. If you had fun, say it without hedging. If you want to make plans, suggest a specific thing at a specific time instead of waiting to see what she wants. Directness actually reads as confidence even when you're feeling nervous.

Anxiety spikes in the evening when you're alone and thinking too much. That's when you'll draft long messages, re-read her replies obsessively, or sit on a text for hours before sending. Wait until morning or until you're doing something else. Send replies when you have something to say, not when you need reassurance.

If she doesn't reply for a day or two, that's normal. If she doesn't reply for a week, move on. Don't send a second message or a longer version of the first one. Just let it sit and focus on other things. Most of the anxiety dissolves when you stop treating each text like it's make-or-break.