How to text that you want more consistent communication

If she goes days without responding but then has full conversations when she does reply, she's either busy or not prioritizing you. If she texts consistently with others but not you, that's her choice. If she's brand new to online dating or just went through something, gaps might mean nothing about her interest in you.

Before you ask for change, figure out which one you're seeing. Has she ever apologized for the delay? Does she seem engaged when she does reply? Is the conversation substantive or just emoji reacts? These details matter because they tell you if she's willing to give more attention, or if this is just how she operates.

Skip the recap of how many times she went quiet. Instead, state forward what would work for you. Say you'd like to talk more regularly, or that you prefer texting over getting messages once a week, or that you want to know if she's still interested before investing more time.

Then give her a real choice. She can meet that need, or she can be honest that she can't. Both answers are useful. Don't demand daily texting if you don't actually need it. Don't say 'consistent communication' and mean something you haven't defined. Be specific enough that she knows what you're asking for and can actually say yes or no to it.

Don't text this the day she goes silent. Wait until there's an actual pattern, maybe three to five days depending on how long you've been talking. Send it when you're calm, not when you're angry or sad. The message lands better and sounds like a conversation starter instead of a complaint.

If she doesn't respond within a few days, let it sit. If you get a real answer back saying she can't do consistent texting, that's done. Don't bring it up again. If she goes quiet in response to the ask, that's her answering too. At that point you know what you're working with, and you get to decide if it's enough.