How to text him you want to be official instead of undefined

When a guy keeps things undefined after a few months, he's usually not confused about how he feels. He's uncomfortable committing or he's keeping other options open. Sometimes he likes you but is scared. Sometimes he's just comfortable enough that he doesn't need to change anything.

The worst thing you can do here is assume he just hasn't thought about it. He has. You bringing it up is not new information. It's pressure. That matters because it means your message needs to be direct enough that he can't pretend not to understand what you're asking.

First, say what you want without turning it into a question about his feelings. Don't ask 'Do you see this going somewhere?' because that gives him room to answer with 'I don't know, maybe?' Instead, name the thing you want. to be exclusive, to be official, to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. That's different.

Second, ask him to choose. Not 'Would you ever want to be together?' but something like 'I want us to be official. Are you on the same page or not?' You're not asking for permission or reassurance. You're asking him to pick a lane. This forces an actual answer instead of continued ambiguity.

Text this when you're both likely awake and not in the middle of something. Midweek afternoon or early evening works. Not late night. Not right after sex. Not when you're upset. The time of day matters because it signals this is something you thought about clearly, not something you're demanding in an emotional moment.

After you send it, do not follow up for at least 24 hours. If he doesn't respond in a day, send one check-in message. 'Hey, didn't hear back. I'm serious about this though.' After that, you have your answer. If he can't be bothered to respond to a direct question about exclusivity, he's telling you something.