Text him you want to be his priority, not his backup option

If he's keeping you around while testing other options, you're seeing a pattern of half-attention. He texts sporadically, cancels plans, or mentions other women casually. This message is your way of saying you know what's happening and you're not going to sit in that position. He might not even think of it as wrong. He might think he's just keeping options open until he decides. Your text needs to make clear that's not a pace you'll match. You're either the person he's moving toward or you're not. The message works because it removes the ambiguity about what you're willing to accept.

Don't ask him why he's distant or whether he realizes he's pulling back. He knows. Instead, name what you see happening and follow it with what you actually need from him. Pick one thing: more consistent time together, him not dating other people, or him being present when you're together instead of on his phone. Trying to fix everything at once waters down the message. A good reply also doesn't sound like you're negotiating a peace treaty. It sounds like you're telling him what matters to you, and now it's his move. Short sentences help. Avoid softeners like 'maybe' or 'I'm not sure if' because they signal you're uncertain about your own boundary.

Send this during the day, when you're calm, not at 11pm when you're thinking about him. Then stop texting him about it. Don't follow up with clarifications or softer versions. If he responds with questions or pushes back, you can answer once. But if he says he needs time to think or he's not sure what you want, that's him not being ready to give you what you need. Don't wait more than a week for him to show different behavior. If nothing changes in how he treats you, then you have your answer. He's chosen his other options over prioritizing you. The text works because it's honest and final sounding. Once you send it, the burden is on him to step up, not on you to convince him.