How to tell if someone is starting to ghost you?

The first thing to look at is effort, not timing. A person who is interested replies to the thing you said, picks up a detail, and gives you something back, even a small story or a question. When the replies start to be one or two words that close the topic, that is the pattern to notice. Check whether she has asked you anything in the last few exchanges. If she hasn't, and you've been the one carrying the conversation for a while, that is a more reliable signal than the number of hours between texts.

Pay attention to the plans too. A specific suggestion, such as a day and a place, is a sign she's thinking about seeing you. Language that stays open, like "we should," "maybe soon," or "see how the week goes," keeps the decision off her plate. Repeated moves like that are how a slow fade usually begins, often without her deciding anything.

When you're unsure, the shape of your reply matters more than its wording. Good replies are short and light, they answer what she said, and they leave a simple hook she can take or ignore. One kind asks a concrete question about something she mentioned earlier, which shows you remember her and gives her an easy thing to answer. Another kind names a specific plan with a time window, which moves the conversation off vague talk and forces a real yes or no. A third kind is a small, warm acknowledgement with nothing needed back, which keeps the thread alive without pressing.

You can tell a draft is the right kind when it could be answered in one tap and still be fine if she doesn't. Leave out anything that asks her to confirm she's still into you, explain her silence, or justify the pace. Those messages make her defensive, and a defensive reply tells you less than a relaxed one would.

Timing carries information of its own. If you send something at a sensible hour and she takes a day to answer, that is ordinary. If you send a follow-up two hours after your last message, it looks anxious, even if it's fine. A rough rule is to let one full day pass after a reply that closed the thread before you write again, and to make the next message different in kind, such as a specific plan rather than another check-in.

If you've sent one thoughtful message and there's still nothing after about four or five days, stop chasing. One more message is reasonable, but make it easy to decline and to walk away from. If that also goes unanswered, take the silence as the answer. Stopping there is not a failure. It's the point where the honest reading of her effort has caught up with what you were hoping for.