How to tell if a girl friendzoned you?

The clearest signal is effort balance over time, not any one message. Count who starts conversations, who asks the next question, and who suggests plans. If you're doing most of the initiating and her replies stay the same length no matter how much you put in, that tells you something. Friendly people reply to you. Interested people ask you things back, remember details from last week, and bring up things you mentioned to see how you're doing.

Also notice whether she ever moves toward you without being asked. A friend will chat for an hour and never wonder what it means. Someone who's interested will sometimes test the edges, like a late message that's a little flirtatious or a question about your plans for the weekend. If she never does that, and every time things get warmer she steers back to safe ground, take that as her answer.

When you're deciding how to respond, it helps to know what job each kind of message does. One kind keeps the friendship warm and asks nothing of her, which is fine if you're happy being her friend and want to stop investing romantically. A second kind makes one clear, low-pressure move toward a date, so she has an easy yes or no. A third kind pulls back a little and gives the conversation room to breathe, which can make her move toward you if she's interested.

You can tell a draft is the second kind when it names a specific plan with a time and place, and it asks, rather than hinting. A draft that's the third kind leaves out the question entirely and doesn't bring up the friendship at all. Whichever you pick, leave out anything that explains your feelings, compares her to other people, or makes her responsible for your mood.

Timing matters more than wording here. Send your move during the day when she's relaxed and unlikely to read it as a late-night message, and don't follow up within a few hours if she's slow to answer. Give it at least several days before you judge the result, since people often take time to reply when they're unsure what they want.

If she replies warmly but declines or stays vague, accept it and change how you act, not just what you say. Let the conversation happen less often, and let plans come from her side when they happen at all. If she says no clearly, or ignores a clear ask twice, that's your cue to stop. Continuing after that usually makes things awkward and costs you the friendship too.